Kittens and Things

Had to put down one of my lovely babies on Monday. I know it was for the best but it was so so sad, she was just a baby ='( Everyone cried and we buried her in the garden with snowdrops on top... and then decided to call her Snowdrop, as she hadn't been given a name.

But anyway, trailing through some old books and stuff lately and found an old song i wrote. I may redo it again and do something better with it...

Hidden from the dragon
You grew up strong
To save our souls
Before the Darkstone can shine

She was the answer
To the problem
To save her soul
You gotta fight

Step by step
You'll find a way
To save our souls
Before the Darkstone can shine

The Darkstone'll shine
The Darkstone'll shine
Save our souls
Or the Darkstone'll shine

Frozen

I can't fell my senses.

I just feel the cold.

How apt.

nur-ggggghhhhh!

So with funerals over and flats emptied things should be back to normal... or at least what i call normal... which no-one else will think is normal.

and so i've decided to make time for the things i like in life. i've grown lazy in the past years, and fatter. and i don't like it. I may have a "vintage" figure but that doesn't mean i get to be fat. incase you don't know a vintage figure means the hips are 8 to 10 inches wider then the waist, think marilyn monroe in The Seven Year Itch when she first appears.

And so earlier mornings for make up and clothes and hair for Sian.

just to add

jasper gave birth last night, i know have 5 little kittens... the 6th unfortunately died. So we have 4 snow bengals and 1 brown bengal, no markings yet but i hope one of them is marbled.

So an interesting day!

And i've apparently got a parcel from my crazy grandma at home! the drama seems unending right now. But it all comes down to how long i can withstand it for.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time
Drown my will to fly
Here in the darkness I know myself
Can't break free until I let it go
Let me go

The Awkward Week

And so the drama of the week continues with my other Grandma dying. 4 days after my 21st. i feel so guilty for not going to see her more often in hospital but i honestly thought that she would get better, i really truely did.

Bad intuition or what.

The funeral is on Thursday, and we have to sort out all her stuff ourselves cause she left no will. I'm taking furniture for the flat but i want something else to remember her by, and the photo's. i want all the old photos.

And now there is one hateful grand parent left.

Music

My grade 4 music theory exam was yesterday. I wont lie and pretend i wasn't stressed because i was. pure simple fact. This was also compounded by how i've been feeling after the grandmother attack. And so i was relatively quiet for most of the day, unless there was something good to distract me... which honestly there wasn't much of in comparison to previous weeks.

However, i spent much of the day thinking about what would be good for after college... again... i always seem to be planning an escape from Aberdeen... i always seem to fail as well... mores the pity...

But i've been thinking about the music. This time round the theory has actually stuck in my head and i wasn't second guessing... i'm starting to wonder if i could take music up as a career... more towards teaching then preforming... but then it would make this course rather pointless. Another waste of time while i decide what i want from the world.

Music would be a good choice though... the partial synaesthesia makes it a highly enjoyable experience, I'll have to investigate universities that specialise in vocal or choral work... or at least offer them... maybe computing with music... hmmm... interesting

etc

suddenly the world is dark once again...

i hate being a 5th wheel

uh huh

It's my birthday! hurrah!

He hired out the Hub in the end, and there was free fireworks and i was monged. twas good!

All in all it's been a good weekend... until she got on the phone.

65 calls, all abuse in 30mins. quite a record for her. God i hate my grandmother, i was quite happily pished until she decided to ruin it.

*sigh* and it continued this morning, lovely birthday present really... she could of given me pants like mum

Woop

Last night was good, it was really good... the limo was THE tackiest thing i could ever imagine much much worse then the hummer! It was brilliant, and with 3 bottles of pink champagne made me super super happy...

but as for tonight, i don't want it happening... he's buggering off soon to organise things i have to phone him to ask where to go later on... i'm nearly shaking with nerves...

oh and the shoes ravaged my feet when walking... *sigh*

Despair

*sigh* I'm a complete idiot. Don't ever talk to me when I'm tired, i end up telling everyone everything they ask. i seem to loose the ability to go "no, i won't say x, y or z to you because it will be horrible, i'll change the direction of conversation to a,b or c!"



Regardless, Birthdayness begins tonight at 6 woop woop!



but what no one knew until now is that, the money i was going to spend on either a DS or a new corset i spent on shoes. But these ones are really good and i needed them and oh god it's starting again why won't the shoes ever leave me alone!



i didn't need them. i just wanted them.

Culmination of the day

<--- here's my work for the day... oh yeah

The Feast of All Saints

Have been considering religion, thanks Anne Rice... I like the idea of a place being purely there to allow you to realise your mistakes in life, and almost rehabilitate yourself before getting on your way to wherever else... it gives a sense of great goodness in the universe... pity really that i'm completely unreligious.

on another note though... it was halloween last night! Twas good fun, even if i did get stuck in a room with my horrible ex while everyone else helped a particular someone in her drunken state... was very awkward and of course everyone took ages to get her down the lift, into a taxi and then get back to the flat... and i had been doing so well at ignoring him completely... i couldn't look at his eyes, they're just that type of eyes that sends shivers down my spine. unfortunately someone i see nearly every college day has the same type of eyes... making things constantly awkward *sigh*

All the parental birthday things are happening tomorro, hopefully mum will let me have a day of nothing before hand, then limo with champagne and my own music, then food and back to the flat. Then there's saturday! The boyfriend has planned something... no one will tell me what... i don't like it i don't like it at all... it's going to be embarrassing, i can tell.

First day

Well for anyone who happens across here I'll explain... This blog is just a place for me to jot down ideas and thoughts, but it'll all be gossip more then likely... eurch i disgust even myself with that